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Earlier this week I read an article about a letter Turia Pitt wrote to a younger version of herself and it got me thinking about what I would say to my younger self if I had the chance. After days of still thinking about it, I decided to sit down and put pen to paper (or fingertips to keyboard – however you look at it). Reading back over it later, I wonder what a different person I would be if I knew then what I know now.
To my younger self,
You have no idea who I am, but trust me when I say I’m someone that you will grow to love. You may not think much of it now, but as you grow older you will understand what I mean.
Before I go any further, you need to know one thing about me. I am an overly honest person who tells it how it is; so I’m not going to sugar coat anything for you. Your life isn’t going to be full of fun and laughter, talking forest animals and prince charming like the Disney fairy tales that you watch every other day. Sorry kiddo! It is going to be full of fabulous adventures though, so hold on to that. Wonderful adventures aside, you need to know that there will be times when you experience hardships that will change you and more heartbreaks then you are ready for; but I’m here to assure you will get through them and life will get better. Don’t be disheartened though, for these experiences are going to shape you to become the strong and resilient young lady I know you will be.
I know you had some rough times through school and kids weren’t always nice to you, but you need to know that every nasty thing that was said to you and all the times you were pushed away and laughed at, this had nothing to do with who were as a person. Nothing you could have done would have changed this; so stop beating yourself up about it. Their actions and their behaviour say more about them than it does about you, and I need you to remember that. There is nothing wrong with you and you are absolutely perfect the way you are, so keep doing you and stop caring about everyone else. I want you to start standing up for yourself and believing that you have the strength to walk away when something no longer makes you happy or serves a purpose. You’re never going to make everyone happy (no matter how hard you try) and not everyone is going to like you, and the sooner you wrap your head around that the better life is going to be for you.
When you finish school you are going to go to university. I’m here to tell you to get your shit together, and do it early. I strongly urge you to study a little more and party a little less and for goodness sake; don’t go leaving your assignments and starting to study until the night before. If you do, you’re are going to fail, and not just once but three times – trust me, I know!
Now you should also know that Nona (and quite a few other people, if I’m going to be honest) are going to be on your case about you not ‘finding a friend’ and not getting married before you’re 30. Meh! Please don’t put too much pressure on yourself about this. The right man will come along when the time is right and he will treat you the way you deserve, so don’t settle for anything less – I don’t care who he is and how much you think you love him. Always remember, if someone wants to be a part of your life, they will make an effort to do so and they will find the time to be there; so don’t take any bullshit excuses.
Finally, when you find your tribe love them hard. These are the people you will lean on through tough times and the people that are going to love you for who you are (quirks included – yes you will develop a handful or two of these over the years). They are also the people that are going to have your back no matter what and by golly are you going to have some of the best times of your life with them. They are f*cking amazing people, so ALWAYS be there for them and don’t EVER let them go. You’re going to be one lucky girl when they finally come into your life.
I want to leave you with a quote I came across earlier this week: “What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” You are a beautiful, confident and selfless young woman with a heart of gold and I want you to know that you have the ability to do anything that you set your mind too; so please don’t doubt yourself.
So go out and have the best childhood a kid can ask for, spend your 20’s and 30’s having the absolute time of your life full of epic adventures and live the best life you can, no matter what obstacles life throws at you. And be happy – so extraordinarily happy!
Dream big sweets! The world is at your feet.
Love,
34-year old you xx
P.S One thing I want you to remember. On 17 April 2003, make sure you double and triple check over your shoulder before throwing a U-turn outside Jessie’s house in Yorkey’s Knob. Maybe even sit tight for a couple of minutes before pulling out. It will save you weeks of nightmares and years of flashbacks – trust me! While you won’t get physically hurt and you get a better car out of the accident (spoiler alert), the accident itself isn’t much fun.